Why Mickey and Donald were hitchhiking
After a long day at Disney headquarters, Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck headed off in Mickey's fairly old car, off to the bar to celebrate these last few successful months before their own 2 weeks vacation (internet cookie for anyone who guesses the reference correctly). Goofy would have come as well, but he had asked for time off a bit earlier. Mickey flatly replied no despite the fact Goofy was an old pal of his. However, since the dog(?) threatened to form a union with the fairly unused at this time Disney animators he begrudgingly agreed to let him take his vacation early (and by begrudgingly, I of course mean he had to repress the urge to smack a b*tch. Cuz ya' don't f**k with the mouse). Luckily, Mickey's anger had dissipated by this point and now he was ready for happy hour at the "house of mouse" (this was just before Mickey bought it out to make it his own club so at this time it was really just a strip joint with drinks that could really get your krunk on. Where was i? Oh right the story.) Suddenly, as the two cartoons drove through the city which contained the "crystal meth hiding whore house" (as mickey sometimes calls it when he's especially paranoid and looking for something to take the edge off) a man in a Spider Man costume fell from a building crashing into Mickey's car! Yup. Turns out they were driving through JUST as the first spider man movie was being filmed. Convenient huh? Now mind you, this usually wouldn't destroy an engine, but considering mickey hasn't had the piece of sh*t fixed in anyway shape of form since he believed all mechanics were out to steal money from a hard working mouse,the whole thing broke the second Spider Man hit the car. Mickey then proceeded to get out and screamed his mousey a** off at poor Tobey. "WHO THE FUCK IS RESPONSIBLE FOR LETTING THIS IDIOT FLY AROUND LIKE SOME PIMP WHO OWNS THE PLACE!?" he shouted. Tobey then pointed to the director. Just as mickey was about to get into a fist fight with Sam Rani, Donald managed to hold him back and negotiate with him. "I Really don't feel like going to prison today, so why don't we just calm down, go get hammered and worry about the car later." he reasoned. "Neither of us were going to be the designated drivers anyways. Plus, we still have the money for the beer. So just forgive and forget for now. OK Mickey?". Mickey rubbed his temples with a sigh. "Fine. Just let me get my wallet out of my car and we can go". Unfortunately, when he was about to go get his ticket to relief, the Green Goblin himself, Willem Defoe flew down to the destroyed vehicle and stole the wallet with a "Boink!" and flew off. Needless to say, Mickey was furious. "I swear, one of these days, I will buy out the company who allowed this piece of shit to be made and I WILL SHOW NO DIGNIFIED MERCY TO ITS PRODUCTS!" as he kept ranting and raving, Donald managed to nearly drag mickey away from the set (not without mickey breaking free, running up to Sam Remy and kicking him in the balls first of course). And so our heroes began their journey to their respective homes to tap into their secret statues and possibly forget their troubles (mainly Mickey's) through a drunken super. The sun was beating down hard though on this hot summers day and they were both not in the mood for it. This was especially difficult to deal with considering they were in the middle section of a highway. Just then though, a light of hope was driving up the road (and, surprisingly, with a song no less)! It was Goofy! "Hey, we should try and hitch a ride off him!' Mickey said. "Hey, anything's better than continuing like this." replied Donald. They raised their thumbs high, and as Goofy approached, the two even managed to join in the song (randomly breaking into song is just a habit you adapt being Disney cartoons.). Too bad that Goofy completely ignored them and kept driving. Now it was Donald's turn to be furious. He stamped all around creating holes in the ground from the sheer force of his anger. His face was red in true Donald Duck fashion. He even ripped his shirt from sheer pissed aloofness(it's a word.). "THAT F*CK FOR BRAINS GOOF JUST LEFT US HERE!" he yelled. Surprisingly though, Mickey was merely chuckling as Donald ranted and raved like Shane when the moose is loose. "what are you laughing about?" he asked surprised. "I'm laughing cuz, whatever adventure he goes on IS going to be made into a movie...." "yeah? and?" "and it will have a DISNEY sequel! You know that's how we punish our staff Donald!" he said now breaking out into full laughter. Donald also joined in as his anger dissipated. They kept laughing for a little while but then they remembered the situation they were in. However, HARK! A car stops for them. "Yo!" says a voice from it. "We'll take you guys where you need to go"! Both of them were far too uncaring at this point to ignore this opportunity and jumped at the chance to get in. They both see 3 guys who seem like they could be in one of those new-dangled boy bands. "Gee fellas," Mickey starts. "We really appreciate yat' doin' this for us!" "We don't mind one bit! After all, you're the two main guys of Disney. Who WOULDN'T stop to help you out?" replied one of the boys (who i can't tell apart for the life of me since they all look the fu**ing same.) "evidently, one of our own friends." grumbles Donald. "So what are your names boys?" asked Mickey. "I'm Nick Jonas, and these are my brothers Joe and Kevin! We were actually driving back from a party we were playing at. We're a (')rock(') band!" "Rock band eh...? Hmm..." Mickey said as he began to ponder. "Something up mister M?" said one of the Jonas'. "No, no I'm fine..." he said smirking. Donald noticed. He knew that smile. It's the smile Mickey makes when he has a plan that could either really succeed or really suck. "I just think I know of a way that I can repay you for doing this for us... You ever hear of these REAL nifty things called 'Purity rings'"? And that's why chg can no longer sleep at night. THE END P.S. For the record, I liked the Goofy movie sequel too. Section heading All swear words are censored.